Zero Sum

my cat leaves furrows in my wrists when i pet him but i don’t mind. at least he doesn’t leave

i shouldn’t have bought these jeans, they hug my ass and make my calves look fat

nine eleven was an inside job, just like clinton getting off the hook and reagan getting shot and obama smuggling osama into the states and my boss letting me go last friday

i love him, with all my heart and all my soul i know i love him, but he looks at me like i’m made of plastic and sometimes i believe him

mom, i promise you, it doesn’t hurt when i look in the mirror and can’t recognize the person i’ve become

so the bear says, you didn’t really come here to hunt, did you? get it? funny, right? no i know it’s gross, that’s the point. where are you going? jesus alright, sorry. can’t take a joke. sue me for trying to lighten the mood

it needs to be perfect. fix it. no, i said perfect. again. that’s pathetic. do it again. again. make it perfect. no, perfect. again. if you’re not bleeding it’s not real. again

god my sister’s baby is ugly. like a peeled sweet potato with pubic hair. if i see one more picture of that little shit i’m gonna scream. or smile. or fall apart

i need to lose twenty-eight pounds by october or they’re kicking me off the team

what is ‘confidence?’ webster’s dictionary defines it as ‘a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.’ but what are ‘circumstances?’ the cambridge dictionary defines them as ‘events or conditions connected with what is happening or has happened.’ but what is ‘happening?’ markus zusak said that ‘a happening was looming. it was out there somewhere beyond the regular enclosed life that i had been living. perhaps it was only slightly wondering if i would come to it.’ but who am ‘i?’ immanuel kant said that…

can anybody hear me? i feel like i’m drowning

you’re disgusting. no one knows how sick and twisted you really are. the filth that goes through your head doesn’t deserve to see the light of day. bury it deep down until no one can see you

i could do better if i really wanted to

at midnight i can still hear her breathing, and i wonder whether she’s finally gotten bored of me

i want my skin to be lighter. but then i’m in a room with people who look like me and i want my skin to be darker

it all needs to burn. the whole wide world, the politicians and the parasites and the poor fuckers living in boxes. i’m gonna light myself on fire and burn it all down

i just wish somebody knew what i was going through. how tired and sad and angry and afraid i am, all the time. how unsure of myself i really am

but i don’t think anyone would understand.